Saturday, August 23, 2008

The wheel of life

What a wild ride life is!

Today has been an emotionl rollercoaster. Last night I got very little sleep. Detoxing???? Maybe. I spent the night in a state of anxiety with heart palpitations and repeated flight fight response. Normally nights like that come afer junk food or wine or hot cooked tomatoedishes. To top it off it sounded like a tornado outside with the winds whooo who whooing all night. I definately felt uneasy.

I couldn't get my act together this morning. I found it difficult to think clearly. I ended up starting work late. But I did weigh in at 135.1kg. Thats a 2kg loss.
Good symptoms/changes
more energy
arthritis improved
increased motivation

bad symptoms
can't think clearly (*brain fog)
mild but consistant headache
restless legs

Today I ate
Storms strawberry shortcake )delish)
2 apples
1 tangello
handful pecans
marinated mushrooms, avo, sunflower sprouts and cucumber

I would have eaten dinner but my youngest son who is 8 year old was staying at a friends house and the father rang. He rang to tell me Daniel had come off a motorbike and connected with some barb wire.

Oh what a mess....cuts a scrapes to his eye lids and a puncture spot that went through his eyelid to the eyeball. no permanent damage they think but scary just the same. We spent 5 hours in hospital but he is home now with antibiotics and receiving a tetnus injection. What a lucky boy he is.

off to sleep now, i am exhausted and falling asleep whilst writing

Friday, August 22, 2008

Losing control and the amazing Philip McCluskey

The difference between being 10kg and 80kg overweight is more than just a whole heap of fat. I imagine that a normal healthy eater could gain 10kg overtime and then a light switches on....ding....I better do something about that. Easy peasy.
Not to undermine how hard someone might have to work to loose 10kg or anything its just that when your 80kg overweight its a whole different kettle of fish. Firstly I could lose 10kg without anyone noticing. But as well there are more underlying deeper issues for the person who has allowed themselves to loose such control.

Occasionally I get a little glimpse of what my deeper issue is..........strange, very strange. I actually feel the need for someone to save me. A knight in shiny armour maybe? I want someone to come in, take control of my diet. Deep deep down I just want someone to help me.

But no one is going to save me or should I say the only person equiped to save me is me.

Oh SHIT its all up to me.

I am the master of my own destiny. The captain of my ship. If I don't help myself........well that brings me to the Philip McCluskey part.

I just happened to hear a Kevin Gianni interview with this wonderful man yesterday and he said a couple of things that made me sit up and take notice. The first one scared me. He said something like

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT THERE ARE NO VERY FAT OLDER PEOPLE. THATS BECAUSE THEIR DEAD.

Its as simple as that...very fat people don't live long.

I'm fat and I personally would like to live to see my children grow up, to see their children. Philip really had me after that comment. And then he talked about something I've thought about before but never really tried. Philip swapped to 100% raw overnight but decided to eat whatever and as much as he wanted as long as it was raw. Simply replacing junk food for raw food. He said that although the recommendations were to eat 1 handful of nuts he ate 10 but still he gradually lost weight and over time his appetite reduced as well.

So forget juice feasting for now, forget starving myself and counting calories. I'm going to give Philips ideas a go. It sits well with me. Sounds good.....actually it sounds like a plan. Although I will be concentrating on staying righthere in the now and not thinking too far ahead.

Where ever you are Philip I send out thanks to you. You have inspired me and now lets see how I go.

weight today 137.1kg

Breakfast msm in water with lemon juice plus huge green smoothie with orange, banana, lettuce and green superfoods with probiotics and colloidal minerals.

Feeling....A big headache but happy. :)

Friday, February 29, 2008

Ready and raring to go!

I'm very excited and super ready to go. Today i bought 1.5kg baby spinach and 1.5kg mixed lettuce and 3 heads of celery. I can't believe I will be consuming all of it in 3 days. I've also got green apples, carrots, pineapple and watermelon.
My plan is to have all of my daily greens in the first 2 juices with green apples and then celery and carrot and then either pineapple or watermelon as my fruit juice.
Up at 5am to juice for an hour than skinbrushing and all the other little rituals of juice feasting.
I can't wait until morning.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Have I failed or is it just a miss start?

Its been 16 days since my last blog and sadly the last 15 I haven't been juice feasting. But I plan to start again on March 1st this Friday to be part of the global juice feast.

I won't go into details why I failed because there was really no excuse but I pick myself up and dust myself off and declare a miss start. I am determined to do the 92 days of juice feasting.

There is a certain level of sadness I feel at letting myself down again. Same old pattern resurfacing. This time I told myself I was being too dramatic......I said to myself why can't you just be normal, not so extreme. Go to weight watches like normal people. But what is normal anyway.

This time I am set up even better. I realised last time that in the last couple of days I was only drinking about 3 to 31/2 litres of juice. This time I will do as David Rainoshek said and make the full 4 litres early so I am prepared.

I have also purchased a blood glucose monitor and will take my blood glucose a couple of times a day leading up to the juice feast to get an idea of how much greens I need to drink.

This is another reason to do it. Tonight I took my first blood glucose and it was 8.9 after dinner which is considered pre diabetic or maybe even diabetic. This is a bit of a shock considering I have always had very good low levels but it has been 1 year since my last check up and my health has definately gone down hill since then. After that result I felt like I wanted to start tomorrow but no, I must be fully prepared. When Friday comes around I will have everything I need to succeed....the rest is up to me.

My blood presure is 140/82 which is also up significantly since it was last checked a year ago. Resting pulse rate at 104 is also not crash hot. I will now use all of these tools to measure the success of juice feasting in my blog.

I have also taken time to talk to each of my family members to tell them how important this is for me because you see they enable me. All I had to say last time was I would go on a normal diet and they all said yes you can do that and it was like they gave me permission. I've told them when I feel like breaking I will come and tell someone and I have asked them to tell me to go to my room and have a rest/meditation etc until I feel more positive.

Succeeding this time on the juice feast will mean i finish just 3 days before my 39th birthday. Oh it would be so good to be under 100kg for the first time in 14 years.

Today I weighed 132.6kg thats 1 kg heavier then when I stopped juice feasting but is not bad all things considered. I will endeavour to not put on any weight between now and Friday.

Off to listen to more David Rainoshek and Mike adams in the secrets of Juice feasting. You can never have enough information.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Day 6

Today I woke feeling so abundant. I have beautiful loving children, a nice safe home and I live in a wonderful small town filled with many like minded people and I am doing the most amazing thing for my body. I LOVE LIFE AND I AM GREATFUL FOR EVERYTHING.

Abundance followed me today as I visited the farmers market. Greens everywhere all grown by kind and loving people. I came home with 4 large boxes of produce for $83 including a box of 25 organic mango's for the kids that only cost $15. As I was leaving one of the farmers offered me a box of gorgeous looking and tiny cherry tomatoes for free....he said they were surplus. Once again I felt so greatful.

Weighing in at 131.6kg this morning made my day.
Total loss to date 5kg

Today I had
500ml water with lemon and msm
1.3L Carrot, lettuce, cucumber and tomato juice
2L Beetroot, silverbeet, celery, parsley and carrot juice
500mls water

Detox symptoms have been very strong today but the biggest ongoing pain in the bum is my dry and foul tasting mouth. I don't think I have ever cleaned my teeth so often. Other symptoms today are about a 1/2 an hour of hot and cold sweats, lethergy and a mild headache. I still have frequent small watery bowel movements.

I made a beautiful vegan dinner tonight for my children and i noticed whilst preparing it i put alot of time, effort and love into it. Lately I've found cooking a chore but tonight the love flowed. I was also intensly aware of wanting to provide them with really good nutrition. Even though it was filled with spinach all came back for seconds.

Off to bed now

Friday, February 8, 2008

Day 5

The end of day 5 and I'm really tired. Last night I only slept for 3 hours.
I couldn't sleep.......everytime I closed my eyes it felt like my body would drop off to sleep and my brain stay a wake. Then would come the fight flight response. A strange and uncomfortable experience that I've had before usually after eating junk food or cheese and cooked tomatoes. I think it might have been the 1L of orange juice I had at 7pm. Whatever it is I don't want a repeat.

Its amazing how when I was laying there unable to sleep peacefully how negative my thoughts became. Am I really doing the right thing....is it safe.....will this happen again. Thankfully I finally went into a deep sleep at around 4am. My knee was very sore today though...probably another reason not to have orange juice and other acidic fruits and veges.

Todays weight
135.6kg down another 1kg
Weight release to date 4kg in 4 full days

Today I had
500mls water with bentonite and physlium
500mls watermelon juice with 1tablespoon msm
1L watermelon, celery, parsley, mint and lemon basil
1L watermelon and green powder
1L watermelon and green powder
500ml water before bed

Only 3.5L of juice today. 1 whole watermelon juiced was probably a bit much but there is 2 reasons for this 1. I didn't feel like drinking anything today. I have no appetite/hunger. 2.I'm all out of fruit and vege until I can go and shop tomorrow.

Low energy....maybe from have so few calories
Mouth tastes and feels disgusting all day
Mild headache all day
Sore red eyes
All of my teeth ache in particular the tooth with the mercury filling. I finally took the time to make an appointment on Tuesday to have it removed by a holistic dentist. Why not....I'm already detoxing!

On a positive note....I discovered I actually have ankles. LOL
With the fluid loss some bones have reappeared...I can't wait for some more to resurface.
My hair and skin is shiny and soft. Most definately an improvement.
No restless legs today and no heart palpitations.

Although there has been a lot of negatives today I do still feel positive about juice feasting and more determined than ever.
I NEVER WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN. (well not so bad anyway)
Now if thats not motivation I don't know what is.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Day 4

Thankfully a good night sleep last night!

I woke with a bad taste in my mouth, furry teeth, coated tongue and a stuffed up nose. I must have cleaned my teeth 5 times today but all top no avail....I'll just have to let it pass.

Weight 133.6 down 0.2kg
Total weight loss to date 3kg

Today I had
500mls water with 2 tablespoons bentonite and 2 teaspoons physlium
500ml water with juice of an orange and 1 Tablespoon MSM
1L watermelon juice with 1 tablespoon vital greens
1L watermelon juice
1.3L celery, mint, lemon basil, parsley and orange juice
500mls water with msm and orange juice
500mls water with bentonite and physlium

I felt a bit like old mother hubbard this morning. I am out of most of the greens as well as lemon so I had to make do with powdered greens. This afternoon i had to forage amongst my overgrown garden for some edible greens. I feel a little disapointed i didn't have time to shop. I am craving something different...like pineapple. yummm makes my mouth water just thinking about it.

Major achievement today

My sons birthday today so with the family coming I made home made pizza, salad and cake and i didn't have a crumb. I sat sipping my green juice.
For awhile a couple of hours earlier my self talk was all about why i should go off the feast and i thought at 1 stage i might even do it but I really want this so I let everyone know how i was feeling and that i was tempted to break and they gave me heaps of support.
Funny but when i was watching them the only food that i really felt tempted by was the salad.

Positive outcomes
my right knee has freed up quite a bit and the pain is greatly reduced.
I was able to do about 20minutes of walking today
My skin looks clearer
Less fluid in my feet at the end of the day
I feel more alert

Unfortunately i am still having quite a few heart palpitations but I'm hoping that will pass soon.

I'm also experiencing strange sharp pains. 1 time they will be in my head the next in my arm.....I don't know what thats all about but I am learning to just go with the flow and not focus on any negatives.

End of another day in juice feasting paradise....I wonder what tomorrow holds.